for the 45 million uninsured americans, we are like Cambodia, or Burkina Faso, or rural India. The uninsured access medical care only if they pay out of pocket at the time of treatment or if they're sick enough to be admitted through an emergency room at a public hospital.

in Great Britain, France, Germany, the Netherlands, Switzerland, and Canada absolutely no one goes bankrupt because of medical bills.
on the other hand, in the united states, 700,000 people declare bankruptcy due to medical bills annually.

as someone going into the healthcare field, i find this disgusting and unacceptable.
what i find even more disgusting is that people still think that america has the best health care system in the world and that nothing has to be fixed. ignorance is bliss i suppose.

we watched a video in my organization and delivery of health care in the US class the other day called "sick around america." it was a PBS special that aired in march, and it angered me immensely. i wish there was some way i could do more to fix things in our health care system. i also wish there was some way to educate the people that are so against health care reform. if i could just hear one legitimate reason why, I would be satisfied. instead its just a bunch of uneducated people posting statuses and journal entries about something they have no clue about.

WHY DO I LET THINGS LIKE THIS IRRITATE ME SO MUCH!?!? ahhhhhhh. i am supposed to be studying for this class, then i come upon a slide that talks about how screwed americans are and i just can't get past it.

thats all, i hope you enjoyed my rant everyone.

i dont really have anything to write about, but i wanted to write in this thing.
only 9 more days of classes thankfully. i can't wait to just relax over the summer, this semester had been extremely tough on my brain.
i went to washington DC for the NCAA hockey championships last weekend. It was the best weekend of my life. I got to see 2 great games in fantastic seats, went sight seeing for 2 and a half days, stayed in a great hotel, partied with about 300 crazed BU alumni and hockey players, and got to hang out with some of my best friends, all for free. The band really has done so much for me at BU. I am excited to start giving back in the upcoming year. Somehow, my band director talked me into being band council president, and tuba section leader. Both of which I did not plan on doing, but now that I have the positions, and freshman have started emailing me about joining, I am really happy to do the job. It really is the least I could do for this organization.
In other news, I was supposed to meet the family I will be working with through the hospice agency today, but it didn't pan out. I should be going next week instead. I will be working with a 13 y.o. boy and a 17 y.o. girl (siblings) that have the same genetic disorder. I am really looking forward to spending time with them doing typical teenage things, and helping them feel more comfortable. maybe hospice will be the right realm for me. hmmm time will tell.
I cannot believe how fast my sophomore year went by. I only have one more year until I start graduate school. It all seems so surreal. Soon enough ill be on my own! eek!
It is really hitting me that steve will be gone next year. I never realized how much time i spent with him until it was official that he would be going to philadelphia in the fall. im sure i will be fine, because i will meet tons of new friends with the RA job. Philly isn't terribly far either, and as long as I can see him once a month or once every other month i will be happy.
ok, i guess i should go to bed now. good luck finishing out the year everyone!

Sometimes, when I look at livejournals and facebook, I could not be any happier that I went to school as far away as possible.
When you stay so close to the people you were friends with in high school, and don't branch out, you don't really graduate to a new level in life. Thats what college is for, branching out, meeting new people who share your interests, and, for the first time in our student life, not being judged for stupid shit that we do, or mistakes that we make.
I can honestly say that I am so happy people in boston don't know about my high school drama/grades/activities etc. It has really allowed me to branch out and discover who I really am, and who I really want to spend time with.

I love the person that I have become (imperfections and all). I love the people that I choose to be around, and I love the direction that my life is heading. I hope everyone can find this peace at some point.
I think its funny that although I am so at peace with myself, I still feel the ups and downs that my mind inevitably puts me through. I hope, with time, that I can find ways to suppress my extreme lows, and learn to cope with them.

I had my orientation yesterday for the pediatric hospice agency. It is such a beautiful organization, and I cannot wait to get involved. Children just have such a clear understanding of death and illness, and don't BS about it like so many adults do. I also admire the nurse who decided to start this unique program. There is such a need for it, yet people refuse to even think about the idea of children dying. It happens, and we owe it to them to make their passing as dignified and comfortable as possible.

OH! I got tickets to see the DMB/Willie Nelson show in fenway at the end of may! And also tickets for the DMB show in Hartford. I am SO excited. It has been a few years since I have seen DMB, so hopefully these 2 shows will give me my fix.

peace and love (and basketball)
miranda

next year, I will be living in the second largest non-military dorm in the country.
as a RESIDENT ASSISTANT!
wooooo hollah. free room and food, not to mention the chance to inspire some new freshies! im excited.

so, today was my first snow day ever, we got over 12 inches of ze white stuff last night and today.
it was fun, minus the fact that i didn't want to even step outside. i did manage to trek to the dining hall twice though.
the only thing that was bad about it, is now my hinduism mid-term is on wednesday, which is the same day as my gross anatomy practical and my RA interview. talk about a busy day
i start up volunteering with special olympics again tomorrow, that should be fun.
over break, i am also filling out volunteer applications for summer positions with a pediatric hospice agency, and an adult day care facility. i think they would both be excellent experiences for me, as i am extremely interested in hospice, and i haven't really had as much experience as i would like working with older people who have intellectual disabilities. if all works out as planned, i will have a fun and beneficial summer :0)
im excited to go on break... i really need one right now. plus-- im going to DC...wooo!
Stephen got in to Temple Med. I am so so so happy for him, that is his first choice of the schools he has interviewed at so far.
ok, i should go to bed now, but i just wanted to write a quick update about the snow and my break.
peace and love
-miranda

--oh, just an extra thought i had. i recently saw albums up on facebook of the dodgeball tournament. i am so happy that the tournament is now in its 3rd year. who would have thought that a crazy ass idea i had could turn into something that is now yearly tradition?!?

hey all-
time for another random, spontaneous update from boston.
1. i have been out of sorts lately. really bad anxiety, highs and lows, all kinds of mess. it might be time to go back to the shrink and get some happy pills. yeah, happy little miranda went to therapy for years during a battle that i guess i never won....its really come back to bite me in the ass.
2. my grades are surprisingly good this semester, considering other things. I really enjoy gross anatomy, and love learning/knowing what goes on in the body. developmental psych is just like every other psych, and eastern religion is so enlightening. human movement is pretty cool too, we just play games and stuff.
3. i saw blue man group today, it was fucking awesome.
4. DJ, the boy that I work with, physically attacked me on friday. I never thought of him as a grown man until friday, and now I just can't get that deranged look out of my head. im not sure when/if i will be able to work with him again, having someone that is stronger than you try to seriously hurt you is a very scary experience, and shook me a lot more than i thought it would.
5. i may work as a medical assistant this summer, that would be a nice job, good experience. Im staying in boston again, and playing in the orientation band (free housing, woot) I also emailed about volunteer opportunities at an alzheimers day care center, and a pediatric hospice agency. i am hoping to hear back from those soon.
6. Paul Marcello, one of my wrestling babies, won a state championship this weekend. I am so PROUD.
7. I am so sick of the cold. I really cant wait for spring/summer.
8. Things with steve and I are wonderful. He is better than anyone I could ask for, and is really supportive and encouraging when i am down. he picks up on the tiniest changes in my mood and knows when i need him and when i shouldnt be alone. he is really saving me right now. He is exactly what I need and I am so excited for him as he goes through all of his med school stuff. I cant wait to see where he ends up.
9. I have spring break plans :0) I am driving to harrisburg, PA with steve on friday, and hanging at his place until monday. Then we are going to philly cause he has an interview there. Mid-week we are going to DC, because he has an interview there too. Then im coming back to boston for the womens basketball/mens hockey tournaments. I am really excited to go to philly, I have never been. It has also been about 10 years since i've been in DC, so that should be great.
10. I miss my family a lot. Especially my mom, i really need her right now.
11. Slumdog millionaire was a great movie, and deserved all of the stuff it won tonight. I did think it was humorous that the academy tried to go bollywood with the song performances.
12. I really really want to see milk. It looks like a great film.
13. I am going to see george clinton/parliament funkadelic on wednesday. I am so excited for that.
14. I am applying to be an RA for next year. I made it through the first round, the next round is individual interviews, i have one next wednesday. i think i would be a really good RA, and really hope I get the job.
15. my intestinal stuff has gotten a bit better. I dont have an official diagnosis, but I have been trying out some meds that seem to work a majority of the time, too bad they are super expensive.
16. that brings me to my next point, i hate insurance companies. they make life very hard sometimes.
17. i love my roommate ellen so much. she is one of the most beautiful and wonderful people i have ever met, and she is selfless and really cares about those around her. i hope she finds someone that is deserving of her, and that really appreciates everything that she is. she has been such a great friend and a big help to me lately, and im not sure i will ever find a way to repay the favor.
i guess thats it for now, because i am starting to get tired.
peace and love everyone.

last night helped me regain my faith in birthdays.
i love my life, i love my friends, i love my family, and i love stephen
good food, good drinks, and good friends. im a happy camper.
yay birthdays, and yay football
i hope you all enjoy this extremely religious holiday and eat lots of chicken wings and drink lots of beer (thats what its all about right? haha)
peace and love
miranda

i also hope you enjoy the extremely complex sentence structure i used in this entry. watch out dickens...theres a new literary genius in town!

i have a temporary diagnosis for my intestines...lymphocytic colitis. It is a form of colitis normally diagnosed in people ages 60-80. I've always been told I have an old soul, now I guess I have an old colon to go with it. haha
I went to the hospital again because of pain and it turns out I also have kidney stones, and now have 2 cysts on ye olde ovaries. my body is falling apart on me. lol.
on a lighter note, my trip to tallahassee was awesome. I didn't really get to see anyone outside my family, but that was fine considering i hadn't seen my brother since may.
OH! I saw tea leaf green in concert last week, and it was unbelievable. If they ever come to a venue near you... PLEASE GO! I had one of those out of body experiences, just dancing to the music, closing my eyes, and letting go. ahh if only they were here every week, it would really help with stress management.
alrighty, i have to go write a paper/study for tests.
peace and love
miranda

1. I MISS MY BROTHER so much. so so so much. I havent seen him in 5 months, that is way too long to be separated from your twin and best friend. November 14 cannot come soon enough.
2. I am really starting to dislike the whole school thing lol. I want to be an OT so bad, and I feel that the classes I am taking aren't helping me to become a better OT. can we just skip through this and get to the good stuff?
3. I am eagerly awaiting the results from my procedure on thursday...i just want to know what the heck is wrong with me.
4. I need to finish a book by today, so I am getting off the computer

hope all is well with everyone

and i hope obama's double-digit lead prevails through election day :0)

trying to do well in school in the midst of being diagnosed with an intestinal disease is proving quite difficult

ick, should be over with soon, fingers crossed!

hello livejournal world!
i know i never update, but i always read others posts. I figured its that time of the semester to update, so here i go.
1. Mike and I broke up. This was hard to deal with at first. I broke up with him because I just know deep inside that he didn't really love ME, he just loved the idea of me and that his family and friends loved me. I was majorly bummed when I first came to the realization that the guy I was absolutely nuts over didn't feel the same way. Looking back on it now though, we aren't even that compatible lol. gotta love that 20/20 hindsight. I am very happy now, and even better things are on the horizon :0)
2. School has been going ok. 3 of my 4 classes I am kicking ass and taking names, the 4th however, (human physiology) takes advantage of me on a regular basis. It kind of sucks, but I am motivated to study and figure this crap out.
3. band is....so so so incredible. I cannot even begin to explain how happy I am to be involved with music again. When I quit in highschool, i felt incomplete in some way. It is just such a fulfilling, almost spiritual kind of thing for me to play music. It really keeps me sane on those days that are just sucky. I am going to march a drum corps this summer. Im pretty pumped for it. Keep an eye out for that totally hot tuba chick on the citations drum and bugle corps haha.
4. I am in the process of getting diagnosed with a digestive disorder. This has been the part in my life that has been causing me ridiculous pain and stress. I haven't had much of an appetite for anything but gatorade and crackers for about a month (and ive been dropping weight/losing hair like crazy because of it) This whole experience has just really opened my eyes to the healthcare industry and ridiculous insurance policies. I am very excited to finally have some answers coming my way. ill try to keep you posted if i remember lol.
5. I MISS MY FAMILY. I havent seen my parents since june 2, and my brother since May 25? I just wish so much that I could be at mike's games. I am so incredibly proud of him, and it kills me that i cant be there to experience it with him. Thankfully, I am going to the homecoming game in november. So i will be able to be there once! My parents are coming to visit me next week! I am so excited. This is the first time they will see my marching band and me adjusted to college life lol. They will also be here during soxtober. Which is an experience within itself.
6. I feel really distant from my friends from high school. I mean I know i am physically distant (thats kind of obvious) but I honestly feel like the only way i have to keep updated is facebook. kind of sad, but i know all of us are happy, so its not that bad. life moves on i guess.
7. The whole breaking up with mike experience really opened my eyes to my relationship history and the type of guy i tend to date. I have had this ridiculous view for a while that i need to be with the perfect, handsome, all-american, eagle scout type of guy. The thing is, that isn't even remotely me. I am just a ridiculous (yet motivated haha), creative, laid-back hippie type. I need to try being with someone that is more compatible with me, rather than someone who fits the "ideal guy" description. i think i have found someone who is a good fit for me...but we'll see. im not ready for a full-blown relationship again yet lol.
8. I love my roommates and my dorm. It is such a good fit for us, and they are just the 2 coolest motherfuckers BU has to offer.
9. Working with DJ is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I learn so much from him, and he motivates me to be better, and to truly excel as an OT so that I can help others progress. His 18th birthday was sunday, and we went to a huge gymnastics center where he proceeded to pretend he was a monkey on the high bar. words cannot express how much i adore this kid. :0)
Im comin home december 18. im actually looking forward to it :0)
peace and love
miranda

BU ALMOST DOUBLED MY GRANT MONEY FOR THIS YEAR!
i am so stoked...i can barely contain myself
i was also awarded work study...which I wasn't last year. wow..i must have done something right in the realm of BU

anywho...camp is still going pretty good. some of my kids this week are little bastards. yet they still have some redeeming qualities..so im not miserable :0)
i am bankin like no other...woot!

i miss my boyfriend a lot. probably because when we were both tired as hell, we would hang out and catch up on TV we missed on the computer and fall asleep. they were glorious days....and now that i come home every day tired as hell without him here to do that with...it makes things rough. only a bit more than a month til he comes home though...so i will be able to handle it :0)

peter and i have been cooking good dinners once a week and watching movies afterward. its a nice tradition that i hope we continue :0) yay for friends, food and entertainment!

im done for the night...time to go watch some TV!

just a quick update about my summer life.
i love my summer camp job. the staff is awesome, the kids are great (not to mention adorable) and the days seem to fly on by. it is by far the best job i have ever had. :0)
working on the weekends as a play coach for deej is very rewarding, but can also be very draining and frustrating at times. all in all i love him to pieces, he is one of the coolest kids ever...but it frustrates me that i cant always reach him and get into his world. he makes me want to be better, and i am damn right determined to connect with this kid. it will happen by the end of the summer! (dont get me wrong...we get along and play great...but i just want to keep him in the flow for more than 50% of the time) i will do it :0)
scarlet band is also awesome (minus the extremely early thursday mornings) we play great music, and i get to make awkward conversation with incoming freshman every thursday night! (be jealous!)
i love this city, i love my jobs, i love my friends, and i love my life. everything is perfect, except that the boyfriend is off traveling the country haha. i am so happy/excited for him.. just about a month and a half left until we are reunited. cant wait!
peace and love
-miranda

so...james frey (probably one of the most brilliant/creative writers of our time) came out with a new book this month that i am just cracking open
many people may remember him as the guy that oprah yelled at for "making up" his entire memoir "a million little pieces" he was shunned and people were shocked that he lied about so many things
he didnt completely lie, he just elaborated and was imaginative about actual events (the mind of an addict/mentally ill person)
anywho...he got a lot of shit for it (the "lying") even though he is a brilliant writer.
the first page of his new book states:
"Nothing in this book should be considered accurate or reliable"
hahahaha suck on that oprah :0)

pembroke pines doesnt feel like home to me anymore
especially when my mom is at work. i love hanging out with her, but when shes gone i have nothing to do because my super close friends (my brother, arielle, pensabeane) are all in tallahassee
ive hung out with kevin/benhaim/jania a few times which is cool...but i kind of feel like the 4th wheel
kevin keeps saying he wants to get together just us but whenever we make plans he invites other people
whatever im just bitching about stupid stuff that doesnt matter
the point is that i dont feel like i have a place here anymore outside of being my parents daughter
its a really odd feeling and i hate it
i feel more out of place here than i did when i first got up to boston and knew no one

i also miss my boyfriend terribly, and he is in the boondocks and doesnt get service unless he wanders around outside for 20 minutes...which takes a ton of effort after getting your ass kicked at corps all day. at least i get to talk to him once every other day or so.

excuse my bitching ladies and gentleman...i hate bitching

so one of the radio stations in boston keeps playing the new coldplay song...and I think im in love.
anyhow...im almost done and almost home for a bit
i have ingested an insane amount of arizona tea lately....especially arnold palmers with green tea (oh yum)
i need to pack up my room now--i only posted to share my love of the new coldplay
peace and love
randa panda pumpkin pie (sheesh i miss my parents)

i have 2 finals on tuesday, and then 1 next monday. I am ALMOST DONE! hoorah!
I got a B- in anatomy...so I don't have to retake it (major major score!)
I am going on a date tonight :0) i have gone out with my boyfriend once since we have been together...so this is a big deal lol
Next week after my final I am going to syracuse to meet his family and hang out. I am nervous/anxious/excited for that. Should be a good time..except he won't tell me anything he has planned! Then i'll be back in Boston on friday for commencement. I cannot wait for the summer. I will be making sweet sweet moolah :0)
Ill be home may 20-june 2...then its back up here for the summer. I was talking to Kevin the other day and he made me realize that I now vacation in florida and live in boston...I guess thats what spending the entire summer here will do. I think its weird to consider myself a bostonian--but I guess I kind of am. Ok i just came on here to procrastinate..gotta go study.
peace and love
-miranda

I AM DONE WITH ALL MY PAPERS
I, Miranda Renee Hellman, have wrote 5,208 words in the past 5 days. gar...yay for it being over!
now i just have to spend all of today and tonight studying for my anatomy test...but I would much rather do that than write any day.
Sox game tomorrow
hoorah!
peace and love- miranda

ok the point of this post is to get all of you guys to keep my ass on track throughout the next week. If you see that I am on AIM or Facebook...ask if I have completed my task for the day. If i have not, tell me to get to work and stop being useless (please feel free to add on or elaborate that comment)
*THURSDAY 4-24
-get religion paper done DONE
-do as much Psych paper as possible DONE
*FRIDAY 4-25
-finish psych paper in the morning DONE (although i finished at 4:20 AM Sat. morning)
-take paper to TF to see what he thinks about it (4PM) DONE
-macBU meeting (5PM) DONE
-Outline and start writing paper (didnt exactly get around to this lol....move to today!)
*SATURDAY 4-26
-BC scrimmage (1PM) (yay boyfriend)
-THE band party(8PM)
-any spare time is to be used further working on the writing paper
*SUNDAY 4-27
-finalize psych paper
-compile OT paragraphs, see what changes need to be made..and make them
-finish rough draft of writing paper
- if on track- stop in at band room for service day
*MONDAY 4-28
-PSYCH PAPER DUE
-FINAL OT PAPER DUE
-revise writing paper
-revise religion paper
-study for anatomy
*TUESDAY 4-29
-study for anatomy
*WEDNESDAY 4-30
-ANATOMY TEST
-finalize writing paper
-finalize religion paper
-SOX GAME WITH MOLLY!!!!
*THURSDAY 5-1
-WRITING PAPER DUE
-RELIGION PAPER DUE
-DONE (except studying for religion and ot finals on May 6 and psych final on may 12)
*FRIDAY 5-2
-six flags new england with band!

college can be really lame sometimes
it would be nice if it were all parties and band and fun
but sadly its not
i am so tired and stressed
but i dont feel like doing any work
hence i will just continue to be stressed
it is a vicious circle

i have two jobs lined up for the summer, so I will be bankin.
i need to save up for australia (god willing I even get into the abroad program)
next week molly and i are going to a sox game. i cant wait.
the marathon is monday. it will be nice to get my drink on in public with the cops. (hooray for the city of boston)

this year is almost over. i cannot wait
my brain hurts a lot..i dont think i can fit anything else into it

im off to go pretend to do work
peace and love